Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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