so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
