the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
