Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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