I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
