I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize