Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
