I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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