The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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