what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
