I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
