sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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