11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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