oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
