you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
