She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
