i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
