Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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