elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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