Rock
Scissors
Fuck
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
