dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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