Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
