just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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