Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
