Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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