yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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