They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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