I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
