nut hugger
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
