Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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