I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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