HIV tests are more positive than that guy
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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