I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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