he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
