I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
