if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
