Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
