I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize