I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
