Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
