What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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