operation harelip BJ is a go
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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