bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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