Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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