I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
