Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
