so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize