my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
