If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
