Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
