My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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