While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
