Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
