just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i came on her dog
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
