i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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