they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
