I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
