Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
