If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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