you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
