It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sober January is a disaster.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
