Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
