You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
