I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
