After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
