i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
