I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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