I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
