Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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