My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
