We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
