so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
